Friday, February 2, 2007

Red States, Blue States, Pelosi and Pork (Hogs)...

Well, it started out to be a slow week...but it ended with...well...we're not really sure how it ended, so we'll just sum it up for you:


Like the judges on American Idol, the BigWigs of the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) spent the weekend grilling and grading the Democratic contenders for the 2008 presidential election. A behind the scenes report told us that the judges scored the candidates as follows:

First Place: Barak Obama- "...the most impressive, both in terms of substance and style..."
Second and Third Place seemed to be a tie between John Edwards and Her Highness Hillary -
Both stressed their desire for a fast march to universal health care coverage, rather than an incremental amble. Clinton reminded members that she sponsored a bill to tie Congressional salary increases to the minimum wage. Edwards reminded members that he'd campaign in more than a half dozen states for minimum wage ballot initiatives, and called universal health care an urgent priority. Clinton came off as "personable" and "engaging," which impressed members. A senior SEIU official said Edwards made clear that he has "grown" as a candidate and learned lessons from his last run.

[It appears by this last comment that Hillary has the slight edge over Edwards.]
Fourth Place went to Joe Biden, whose week went from bad to worse on Tuesday, after he was labeled by the union bosses to be a bit "long winded"...


The day Joe Biden's presidential dreams went down the drain.

If you haven't heard by now, read the blog we posted on Wednesday, but here's the gist. Joe gave an interview to the New York Observer in which he blasted his co-candidates and, in doing so, brought up Obama's race (as in ethnicity, not candidacy). KABOOM!!!...In came Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, out went Joe Biden's hoped-for presidency.


As posted on, life got tougher for the United Auto Workers (UAW)--the union that continues to lose members' jobs by the thousands--as it was announced that non-union auto workers at Toyota's plant in Kentucky are making more per hour than their unionized counterparts working for the Big Three. Ooops! There goes the so-called "union advantage"...


Things started heating up at the end of the week, as news was flying fast and furious...

Next came news that on Wednesday, John Edwards--choosing not to be out done by Her Highness Hillary--accepted the SEIU's gimmicky campaign challenge to "walk a day in my shoes." Boy, that man will do anything for a vote!

Later in the day, we heard that Al Gore has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, proving to us that global warming is indeed real...and is growing worse due to his incessant bloviations.


This morning, we awoke to news that Harley-Davidson had locked out its unionized workers in York, PA after 98% of the workers had voted to strike. Later in the morning, the over-abundancy of news stories had made it clear that it was a union strike by the Machinists, not a lock out, as earlier reported. (We are deeply humbled by our error, ed.)

Then, to top it all off, late in the day, those evil guys at the oil companies reported some really BIG-assed profits, prompting socialists to howl and Her Highness Hillary to declare in Hugo Chavez-style fashion that she would like to "take" those profits and redistribute them toward some government program. Click here to view the video of her rationalization of nationalization.

To cap off the week, the San Francisco Sex Scandal continued to disgust those right-wingers who purport to have morals, but seemed to have been met with a shrug from those on the Left Coast.

Last but not least, for those of you lefties and liberal sympathizers who may think we are only one-sided due to our criticisms of the left, G.W. is asking Congress for $100 billion for wars in 2007. Doesn't that just piss you off? Us too!!! [See, we do have something in common!] We feel that taxes are high enough...this f**kin' country needs to spend less so we can cut taxes again, damnit!
[There, does that help make us more 'fair and balanced?' ed.]


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